What Agency Job Descriptions really mean
This is both ones written by the company or the Digital Agency or the recruitment agnecy N.B. All agencies are “Digital” there are not more Analog agencies left
- “Fast Paced Environment” The project manager always promise clients what clients ask for no matter how impossible the deadline. This means we are always panicing to try and meet these unrealistic deadlines.
- “Lively young environment” The MD is in his mid 50’s and dresses like Jeremy Clarkson because he thinks it look “cool”. He also has a pool/fussball/hockey table in a room to small the play adequately in where employees under pressure can let of steam. But it is never used as most progamers think the game is stupid and also are too busy.
- “Heros” No adults run the company.
- “The interview is just an informal chat with …..” We really don’t know how to do interviews so we will sit and read you CV in front of you and sort of chat about various things that come into our heads
- “We suddenly had an influx of workload” We are really bad at planning, didn’t forsee that people would actually say yes to out quotes and so now we are panicing to try and hit the deadlines.
- “We are a full stack Digital Agency” One of our techies who is not usually let out on his own got into conversation with marketing and they both got crossed wires and hence the slogan In reality we do wbe sites for people and we can to the physical design and print as well.
- “The office environment is relaxed fun and flexible…..” You better be in at 07:00 eat lunch at your desk and not leave till after 18:00 at the earliest.
- “We run an Agile Development Environment” We do a couple of easy bits from Agile but not any of the parts that really make it work but it sounds good and often ticks a check box fro the clients.
Other points to remember
- All agencies are unique and offer services that no other agency can match, such as buidling well designed web sites, building shopping carts, getting brochures designed and printed.
Random Agency Phrases
- When i tell you who the client is you will definetley want to get them on you CV. Translatyes as “This is a Microsoft/Oracle/EBay/Someone Famous/ who want to pay less than half the market rate and thinks you will be naive to fall for this”
- What is you ideal job? Replying “Head of Quality Contol in a Turkish Brothel in Marseilles” will usually end that part of the conversation.